“Hullo, it’s me again, just like the proverbial bad penny. But it’s election time.
“D’you know, it’s been over seven years since I insulted the Aughton Residents Group (2012) and the Aughton voters by telling them their “Campaign was a disaster, lies were told door to door and the campaign to keep Parrs Lane in the greenbelt was a waste of time”.
“But it hasn’t stopped my very successful harvesting of allowances paid by the same taxpayers I insulted. They can’t help themselves, they just see blue and bingo, X marks my spot.
“Oh, did I tell you I’m seeking the blue votes again, for the LCC? I’m my own agent too! And, agent for old friend David O’Toole, too. PS The annual Basic Allowance of £10,969 helps us with our pensions! And the “Special” allowances, wow! Travel expenses, wow! We might be called “Dads Army” but who cares?”.
“That’s all for now”.