Hello, it’s me again
With a General Election special report about my latest political protégé Jack Gilmore. As you know we Tories are generally un-welcome in West Lancashire when it’s election time. In fact we are un-welcome at any time when we cock-up housing development policies on Parrs Lane!
But we’ve come up with an idea, to create a new Constituency, Aughton & Downholland with Aughton Park. After all, they are so loyal despite Parrs Lane that we know we can even win there by sticking a blue rosette on a dog’s bum! I told them they told lies door to door and they still re-elect me!
Poor Jack Gilmore has a lot to learn about electioneering and canvassing. I mean, who goes sticking leaflets through doors without wearing gloves? Yes, you’ve guessed it, Jack Gilmore, and he’s been bitten by a cat!
As he says “My first campaign injury, clawed by a cat through a letterbox – clearly it was desperate to read the leaflet!”. Not that the leaflet was worth reading anyway, I know, I produced it!
Ah well, I’ve been elected in Aughton & Downholland for about 17 years now, so that idea of an Aughton & Downholland constituency, with Mrs Wally in Aughton Park, is becoming more attractive! Let me know what you think?